江山如画却独爱美人

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2009-11-10T06:37:00.001-08:00

What kind of pain is this? My heart's been broken, but i have to paste it back piece by piece back again... Just like this blog, watching it die makes me feel lonely, but a part of me tells me that I don't have the strength to take this pain... So maybe I should just leave it to die, until i become stronger... or someone who gives me strength...

JOKE

2009-09-09T03:23:00.001-07:00

一位女子，开出征婚条件有两点：1、要帅；2、要有车。
电脑去帮她搜寻结果——象棋。

这位女子，不服搜出的结果，又输入：1、要有漂亮的房子；2、要有很多钱。
电脑去帮她再次搜寻的结果——银行。

此女子仍然不失望，继续输入条件：1、要长得酷；2、又要有安全感。
结果搜出的结果是——奥特曼。

此女子仍然不失望，还继续输入条件：1、要帅；2、要有车；3、要有漂亮的房子；4、要有很多钱；5、要长得酷；6、又要有安全感。
电脑去帮她再次搜寻的结果——奥特曼在银行里下象棋。

The proposal

2009-08-31T07:10:00.000-07:00

HAHA, teacher's day performance was beautifully nice. especially the "Nobody" part. LOL. And i know that despite that our school has our special "ROCK" bands, we actually have very nice singer :D. GOOD JOB ALL THE PERFORMERS. (and i hope everything gets peace)
Then went to watch movie, LOL i hope the 3J guys had a success going for final destination :X...
Went to watch The proposal. Hmm, it gave me a very deep impression... GOOD movie :D. Comedy that's embedded with lots of emotions inside... beautiful story also... haha, i almost cry, no lar, joking.. but still very touched :(.
Ended the day with dinner together with my families...
Come to think of it, there are so many things i really want to have or do, but can't. Some people blame that time is not enough... But i think that it is ourselves, the discipline of ourselves is lacking. I really hope i can do something about it...

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2009-08-30T01:25:00.000-07:00

Yo
Long time no post already :D
Since some pig said that im lazy
I shalll post =.=
It has been a long time since i posted something. Awww, so much things happening.. class is in a mess.. family is in a mess.. and CCA...was quite great? lol.. KIALUCK EMOS!!! HELL, THE SKY IS DROPPING :(.. hope u get well soon. haha
Today, well, was great, cause i went to the church :D.. the TRIO sirs.. sir kangwee called me to return the keys to subcentre, then he ask me to find a time with sir fang yu because he is at changi chalet and i cant go there.. then sir fang yu ask me find time with sir eric. Then, in the end they are all at the changi chalet..=.=..
Had lunch with my mum.. i ate a plate of fried rice and some sour and sweet sour pork and that cost $20... hell, i rather i eat $2.50 x 8 chickens in KFC. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.. AND YAY, My PSP got repaired, MONSTER HUNTER FOR THE WIN. AND NO MORE DJ MAX!! :D:D:D

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2009-08-10T06:23:00.000-07:00

21克是灵魂的重量。传说人死后体重会减少21克，那21克是最纯洁的爱，那21克便是：一克是宽容、一克是接受、一克是支持、一克是倾述、一克是难忘、一克是浪漫、一克是彼此交流、一克是为她祈求、一克是道歉、一克是认错、一克是体贴、一克是了解、一克是道谢、一克是改错、一克是体谅、一克是开解、一克不是忍受、一克不是质问、一克不是要求、一克不是遗忘、最后一克是不要随便牵手，更不要随便放手。我真的有这21克的爱吗？

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2009-08-09T07:59:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday SINGAPORE!!!!
Had lunch in church today then went to vivo. i waited for 50 minutes haha.
Then went to KFC to eat with fellow 3J mates. Brandon is shit and ate 5 piece chicken + whipped potato medium and a shroom burger. muahahahahahaha. while I only ate 2 piece chicken.
The national day celebration was very nice :D. Fireworks was Great!!!!! Woooohooooooo!! Great day at padang. 3J rocks. everyone is so crazy.. :D

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2009-08-08T10:21:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday SINGAPORE!! WOOOHOOO

Haha, what a meaningful day today...Cause I finally realised, its time to MUG. heihei... I realy realy hope that my mom can get a PR, then i can move to boonlay :D. haha
anyway, it was my aunt's birthday:D was thinking about where to eat dinner, and then a phone call came and summoned me to macs.. wooohoooo...

haiz, really dont know what to write :P... Zzz why im I not sleeping now??? Its 1.30AM!!!! and i haev to wake up at 8 tomorrow!! cannot sleep like pig liao :(...

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2009-08-07T17:37:00.000-07:00

Another week has passed. I dont know should I laugh or should I cry. Results are getting worse.zzz. I got to find a way to pull it back.
Nonetheless, had a fun squad outing yesterday:D. Thanks to my dear squadmates who went to buy boots with me haha. and william nvr take back home what he is supposed to take.
And happy birthday Xuanyi, haha, although 1 day late =.=. I know the lunch we ate is quite ****** cause no seat lols.
Went home to dota after squad outing. EMO games with leavers. Ouch.. then suddenly feel very tired and slept at 7 plus un today >.<. First time think that i'm just like kia luck and ziqian. PIG AND FAT :D. MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAH

你走吧

2009-08-02T02:25:00.000-07:00

我已经让你走了,请你不要再回来, 重创我的心。我已经无法再承受一次伤痛，我很脆弱...

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2009-07-27T07:15:00.000-07:00

No tears to cry for, No energy to strife for, No heart to live for, 1 minute 1 second has passed, who i care for?

A emo emo weekend ended, wanted to study, but ended up sleeping and crapping lols. MDM YANLING is a great speaker man, she could talk as long as 4 hours without stopping, even until people who are listening are tired lols. But her stories has their meanings. You cannot chang your surroundings, but you can change yourself to adept your surrounding. Much long time has passed, and i realised that i've been complaining abouut many many things, like how my enviroment doesnt suit my study, or sometimes friends dont come out with me... all these things, i have found my answer... I should change myself.
Geog test is over, err it was short hahahaha. hope can get A1, caues my physics is gonna PHAILLLL!!!! zzzZZZ. man, i must study hard and get better results next time.
Today broke my toe when playing floor ball, what a sad thingzzz. damn pain lahh.. got blood lol. luckily not very serious kind. i hope can recover soon :D. but one thing good is dunid polsih boots leh . (bleh to lihui) >.< just kidding..

Jokes from MEIYU: What did sushiA said to sushiB? WASABI!!(what's up babe)
WHY SUPERMAN ALWAYS WIN BATMAN IN TERMS OF RACE?
BECAUSE SUPER MAN RETURNS, BATMAN BEGINS!! ::D:D:D:D

AND WHY THE BLOGGER CANNOT CHANGE FONT SIZE NOW?????? DONT YOU KNOW MY BLOG HAS SMALL FONT SIZE??????

asdfadsf

2009-07-24T09:59:00.000-07:00

Haha, friday... another week has passed. what a tiring week. tests tests and more tests are coming. physics test was manageable, but think i can pass bah.. haha.. A1 is like impossible for me :(.
Had cca today, and it was fun. Oh man. Taking over already, it wasnt as fun as i thought hahahaha. had PT, really have to train up le..>.< then played games, its like watching comedies like that. lols, everyone is screaming their lungs out because they just realise that they are suppose to run when the catch is already beside them. lols.
Went church later on, sang some touching songs :D then had lessons then back home. FOR DOTA. owned some freaking noobs with mh..Not saying that im strong or what. just that they really are noobs. hahaha. Im not like someone =.=.

Walked pass by each other, but this time, i couldn't comprehend you face. What i'm I to you?

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2009-07-15T04:54:00.000-07:00

Why does love always feel like battlefield?
Lols, maybe you will not agree. As, we only flow blood on battlefield, but not tears. However, how many people had noticed that tears are actually the blood of our emotions? Our feelings? I've heard about so many things about who like who this days, they're like soldiers blindly charging infront, but who knows when will they get backstabbed? or just get shot to death by enemies? All those pains and sadness, only will be revealed after they have fallen. 谁会看到男儿独自流泪，又有谁会知道男儿寂寞等待？一个人永远要望着远方，期待着...
回头看，不曾走远，可是我却宁愿不转身，而是背对着那份思念...

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2009-07-12T07:49:00.000-07:00

JOKES: What did the female vampire said to the other female vampire?
ANS: SEE YOU NEXT MONTH. =.=
What did the fish say when it rush onto a concrete wall?
ANS: DAM(N)
"which came first, the chicken or the egg"
EGG, because dinosaurs lay eggs long before chickens.
a mosquito landed on an old lady's face and begin sucking, before it could fly off it died . WHy?
Wrinkles kiap the mosquito to death.
10 sheeps got on the mrt, 1 wolf followed onto the mrt, how many sheeps got eaten?
NONE OF THE SHEEPS, BECAUSE NO EATING ON MRT:D

K. jokes aside now. These days, i feel burdens being lifted off as the Natl comp being cancelled. However, in midst of happiness, there is still a little disappointment. haha, no matter how tiring, its still my first national comp. haiz, but it is now being cancelled...How sad.haha... next big thing is taking over st john. how stressful man >.<.... haiz.. wanted to write a sad sad post, but after those jokes =.= no feel at all.. haiz..

adf

2009-06-29T07:13:00.000-07:00

The school has re-opened. haha so many people came reluctantly. Some still have the hope for someone's death so that school can be closed. We are like so selfish :X... haiz. First day's lesson sucked. The only thing that im happy about is we get back our dear huang lao shi :D hahahaha.
I was like reading book until damn late before the day of school reopening :x.. first day of school loooked like zombie like that haiz.got scolded by form teacher... and anyway, Happy early birthday SHIT TIanhang :D.. muahahhahahahahaha.

痛苦排山倒海般向我扑来，无力抵抗的我，只能在心中暗暗掉泪。繁华城市中，少年独自伤悲...

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2009-06-25T03:24:00.001-07:00

A long and hopeless holiday is going to end. I kept asking myself ,what have i done? The truth is : nothing. And it hurts...Holidays are not extended, but trainings are cancelled. Nat comp is not pushed back...I'm feeling so pressurized. And there comes all the tests. Can i really handle all these shits? I think i'm gonna move to jp soon. then i wont be so lonely anymore. At least, i might not take bus alone anymore. haha, looking forward to it. Good mood is always not with me these days. and my dota deproved like crazy...i think my game career is gonna end soon LOL.
GUYs, Have u heard the h1n1 joke? if not then spread it around :D.

我的爱，是说停不能停，已经浓的不能说是曾经。但是快到终点了，要有新的开始, 一个依靠, 一个拥抱, 谁替我祈祷, 替我烦恼, 为我升起为我闹. 幸福开始有预兆, 缘分让我们慢慢紧靠，然后一切茫然。为何世界有了天空，世界还有地心引力，为何有了希望，绝望还是如影随形...我无法甩开..............

SQUAD CHALET FREAKING 洛克斯！！

2009-06-16T09:10:00.000-07:00

SQUAD CHALET FREAKING 洛克斯！！ Haha, My squad people are crazy ~~~~~ AND pigs.. LOl
Anyway, the squad chalet was a success although i never do anything constructive except for the BBQ. Details i lazy write, so please go visit my squadmate's blog, such as lihui's. Wonder how her pineapple leaves are gonna wither with so little of sleeps, heihei... Basically just slaked inside the chalet except for going out and eat. SLACKING means owning all those pigs in DJ MAX :D. 6 keys ftw. They kept saying no lvl higher than 8 please. :D. haha. nvm, i shall not be too 骄傲. Anw, was having fun throwing the girls soft toys up the ceiling then catch it back once i had the chance. :D. Stupid william play my call of duty overnight, then went sleep while we are starting fire. PIG FACE. who want go see his SLEEPING FACE please go my squadmates blog. lols.
Watched 15 minutes of MY BLOODY VALENTINE and i felt dreaded... describing doesnt help, go watch it yourself. then u know what is BLOOD AND GORE. too bad only a few watched it.. but lucky, if not i wll be flamed. Spent alot of moneyzzz, like 60 plus. Went to buy adapter for psp charger, then when i came back i realise someone has got one adapter. And the worse thing is that i cannot open the adapter package!!! It costs 7.50. really wanna go bang on the wall.
lols anyway this post sounds a bit crazy, cause im sleepy now. huh? what im i talking.=.=...
the girls kept talking about junbyo whatever i cannot spell. zzzz sian, dont you know that junbyo is me? muahahhahahahahahahhaaa.
ANd the pig goes:"俊博在耍酷"
junnbo:"什么？我的裤子在书包里，怎么耍？"
the pineapple went crazy. LOLs.
GJ PEOPLE from my squad and thx kailing's parent for booking :D hope next time can haev a longer chalet, like, errr 5 days 4 night :D. yesh..
I know this sounds abit girlish but i love my squad <3( yucks, this is gonna be the last time i type the heart :X..)

Sick

2009-06-10T05:49:00.000-07:00

Post again while waiting for two dogs to reach home.zzz... Its been boring to stay at home, and i felt guilty for not going for training :(, because im sick, and doctor said that i will spread to others... ZZZ. AND oh shit, FRIDAY got KBOX, how to sing with my sore throat. T.T...and anyway, dota-ers! 6.60 is out, wooohoooo whole night :D. the new hero is so damn fun, tauren chieften is freaking gay :D. And of course im looking forward to the squad chalet this sunday :D, but i have to go church first >.< lol. im now downloading horror movies for the squad chalet, like my bloody valentine, Grudge 3, and uninvited.. finished grudge 3 liao. :P.. dont dare to watch alone, lol...Hope the chalet will be a fun one.
Crush is pain...

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2009-06-08T05:18:00.000-07:00

终有一天一定把你紧握在手
虚幻的希望的光芒静静地在心中澎湃而起
想见你的冲动为你哭泣的纯情
投身于炎炎夏日之中如有去无回的萤火虫一般
你一言不发留下一吻
遍体鳞伤低声呻吟
悲伤的生命在风中摇摆
我的恋人你也看到了吗
灿烂的月光静静地照亮明天
强烈地强烈地绽放光芒

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2009-06-03T06:27:00.000-07:00

Read through my blog last year today.. haiz, just remembered all those things that happened last year... POsting even though i know this blog is long dead. In case anyone click wrong and finds out that this blog stil has got a chance to survive, lols. Just like me... I dont feel like posting emo passages like last year...But i can't help it.. im emo guy :(. lols. .
Anyway, posting while waiting for pee(brandon) to eat ..=.= he eat damn alot and eat damn slow. We've been waiting for 40minutes already...zzzz. Actually, i think i was really not sociable when i was yr2..=.=..many of those people in my class, i nvr even see before o.o, LOLs... And.. hey.. june is coming, BIHAO tianhang, meiling (owed), please find a date when ur are free, treating ur movies :D. others who wanna tag along come please, make it more fun. and of course i wont treat the others .LOL but coming girls, will you let ur meiling come with 4 guys ? heiheihehiei

。。。

2009-05-27T05:17:00.001-07:00

Dota version of 说好的幸福呢:D
怎么了，你feed了，说好的，teamwork呢,我pro了，不怕了，爱push了，mega了，开心的我一路杀人变成killer，那些godlike的感觉都太深刻辽了，我都还记得，你不懂了，说好的，end game呢，我走了，不玩了，就这样

Take my memory away..........

2009-05-27T04:59:00.000-07:00

Finaly decided to post.
有了你的生活完整美好。很多人都希望能找到自己的爱，为了这个，可以不惜一切，勇往直前。可是往往这些人想要的，只是当对方接受自己的时刻。是的，当对方接受自己时，不懂那段时间是多么高兴，多么美好，多么想要那段时间永远停止。可是往后的日子呢？会不会因为已经达到自己的目的而不再理会了吗？有没有想过自己有没有能力使自己的另一半快乐，有没有想过自己有没有勇气来面对往后的日子？我无法决定...

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2009-05-17T05:42:00.000-07:00

第一次认识到，女人的心有多么脆弱。虽然表面坚强，但内心却是很容易受到打击的。男人呢？大家都会认为男人的心很坚强吧。其实大家都错了。男人的内心可能比女人还脆弱。之所以不会流露出脆弱的表现是因为他们被麻痹了。想哭，却又流不出眼泪。想觉得伤心，却又没有那种感觉。就像我一样吧...其实心脆弱与否并不能用那女来衡量。其实只要是人，就有他最软弱的一面，想隐藏的一面。所以我们需要朋友来互相加强自己的内心，才不会被这社会上的是是非非给击败。
跟你在一起的时间很快乐。谢谢，希望还有下次。

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2009-05-02T08:10:00.000-07:00

Time flies...
School had given us 5 days to do self study...
But what have i done?
Play, play, play, but im not happy... I want to study, oh man...
But i really dont have mood, really, its as if something is missing, something went away...
I want to grab it back, the feeling of emptiness is killing me...
I hope i can clear my thought in church tomorrow and start studying tomorrow afternoon, if not, i will be as well as died.

Please do not feel sad. Let today's tears become tomorrow's strength :D

2009-04-28T07:29:00.000-07:00

No one understands me, even if i explain, it would be thought as excuse... I'm lazy to explain now... Just admit whatever it is

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2009-04-25T08:09:00.002-07:00

These days... i feel very "down". abit lonely. exam is around the corner, but i dont have mood to study. Deep inside my heart i always wanted to do something............
Time flies.
Many things i have missed.
Many things i failed to understand.
Many things i failed to carry out.
Many times i wasted my life on things that is not supposed to be mine.
And how many more times must i make these mistakes?
I hope life gets better...
Most of the days, its me and only me. Sitting on the bus, day-dreaming, feel so lonely...
Everyone has a soft side despite of their metal hard appearance... But my soft side, is not soft, but its like a glass, breaks easily, and even if i stick them back into shape, the scar leaves there forever...

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2009-04-25T08:09:00.001-07:00

十年修得同船渡，百年修得共枕眠。有的人，我们一辈子也等不来，而有的人，等来了，我们又不懂得珍惜。遇到一个情投意合的人多么难得，而失去一个人，却又是那么容易，转瞬之间，就会无影无踪。
　　　　　　
2002年3月，和我同住的那个人搬走了。我于是在房屋中介所登记，寻找合租人。两天之后，她来看房子，觉得还比较满意，便搬了过来。就这样，我和她开始了异性合租生活。
　　最初的日子，我的生活并没有发生多大的变化，每天下班之后照例在楼下的步行街闲逛，或者跑到同学家里打牌。后来有天我下班直接回家，看到她正在做饭。香气溢满了整个房子。看到我，她笑盈盈地说：回来了？一起吃晚饭吧！我既惊且喜，没有任何犹豫就点了点头。老实说，她的手艺还很不错。那一顿饭我一共吃了三碗饭。接下来的日子，我便经常买菜回来和她一起做饭。对于一个单身许久的人来说，这种简单的乐趣其实就是一种家的温暖的感觉。　　然而，没有多久，她就搬走了。原因是她妈担心她和一个男人合租不太方便，所以叫她搬到一个熟人那里去。看得出来她也不想搬，可是实在拗不过她妈的百般劝说。她搬走的那天，我默默地帮她收拾东西，并将东西拌到车上去。临走前她凝视了我将近两分钟，不言不语。车开走了，我回到空荡荡的房子，忽然悲从心生，忍不住泪如雨下。那一刻，我才发现原来自己早已经喜欢上了她……　　第二天，我给她打电话，我说我们一起吃晚饭吧。可是她却说不行，她要和她男朋友一起吃饭。我一听如遭雷击，当场呆住了。我万料不到她会这样说，因为据我所知，她应该没有男朋友的。挂掉电话之后，我失魂落魄地在她住过的那间房间里蹲着，一直蹲了整整一宿。　　一连几天，我都没有勇气再联系她。可是，后来忽然有人给我打电话说要看房子。我觉得很奇怪，她搬走之后我并没有在什么地方登记出租呀！不过我很快便明白了：一定是她帮我去登的记！我按捺不住自己，便给她打电话。一问，果然是她。我心里有些发酸，我说：“其实我不想再出租了，我宁愿一个人住，或者，我也搬家。”我们言不由衷地随便说了一会，忽然她说，那天她在电话里那样说是因为当时在上班，老板在身边，所以……　　我不知道她为什么上班时间老板在身边就得那样说，我也没有问她，但是我的心里却兴奋不已。　　我们又开始来往。我们一起吃饭、唱歌、看电影。每一次都玩得很开心。我对她的喜欢程度也渐渐升华为爱，但是每一次面对她，我总是无法表达自己的爱意。我把苦恼告诉了我最好的朋友，他大骂我不是男人，连这点胆量都没有，其实我又何尝不在骂自己。尤其是好几次我看到她满是期盼的眼神，更是心急如焚。　　我过生日那天，邀请了好几个朋友一起庆祝，她当然也在场。当她在摺摺的生日烛火中微笑着面对我，将一条珠链子戴到我的脖子上，我完全沉醉了。朋友们在旁边有节奏地击掌，并叫我亲吻她，但是我不是一个喜欢张扬的人，我只是轻轻地挽了她一下，没有做出过多的亲昵行为。　　一个朋友跟我说：有些话你是必须要说的，你不说，别人怎么知道你的心思，就算别人知道你的心思，可是你如果不说，终究还是不能明确，尤其是爱这种东西。朋友的话也许是对的，但是，偏偏我觉得我和她已经心有灵犀了，不用再说，说了反而尴尬。然而，后来证明，我确实错了。　　生日过后，我便将她当成了我的女朋友，但是我却发现，她对我好像有点不冷不热。后来他们家都搬到了成都，在西门买了一套房子，她也便回家里住，我们见面的次数也越来越少了。　　 2002年底的一天，我们见面了。我们照例去麦当劳吃东西。不过我感觉她好像变得有点忧郁了，没有以前那么开朗。本来说好了吃饭之后一起去看电影的，可是后来她却说困了，想回去了。我默然了，却只好送她回去。　　下车之后，我们走了一段路，那是一条相对较冷清的巷子。我们并肩走着，我几乎可以闻到她的气息。她忽然说前面不远就是他们家了。我用鼻子恩了一声。　　她停了下来，看着我，幽幽地说：“你今晚找我出来，还有什么话要说吗？”　　我怔了，我忽然觉得很感伤，但我微微摇头，说：“没有了。”　　她依然盯着我，眼眸里隐藏着某种东西：“你真的没有什么话要对我说了吗？”　　我咬咬嘴唇，说：“没有了。”　　 “好吧，”她惨淡一笑，“再见！”　　我故做潇洒地也说了声“再见”，便扭头走了。走了几步，我忍不住回过头来看她。我看到她呆呆地站在路灯下，孤单的让人可怜……　　我很想跑回去紧紧地抱住她，对她说出我最深情的三个字。可是，我没有动。我的脚像生了根。我们就这样遥望着对方，直到我违心地挥挥手……　　我没有想到，我真的没有想到，那竟然是我们关系终结的一面。那天之后，有好几天我都没有和她联系，她也没有和我联系。一个星期后的某天夜里，我在百般思念之下拨打她的电话，却惊异地发现，她的号码已经过期……　　 2004年9月的一天，我和两个同学在市中心的一条小街上四处寻找茶楼，快到路口时，我忽然发现，她和一个男的手牵着手走着，四目相对的那一刻，我惊呆了，我几乎可以听到自己心碎的声音。但是，我却不得不装出无所谓的样子，紧跟着朋友的脚步，朝某茶楼走去……　　后记：　　每一次听到或想起张信哲的那首《信仰》，我便有一种想哭的冲动。“如果当时吻你当时抱你，也许结局难讲，我那么多遗憾那么多期盼，你知道吗？……”是呀，如果当时我敢迈出一步，“当时抱她吻她，”也许结局真的很难讲。然而，我终究没有迈出去，缘分就这样擦肩而过。刘若英在《后来》唱道：“后来，我总算学会了如何去爱，可惜你早已远去，消失在人海，后来，终于在眼泪中明白，有些人，一旦错过就不在……”。此情可待成追忆，只是当时已惘然。所以，如果你遇到了一个真正情投意合的人，千万不要再错过。记住，爱情可以等待，但绝不能懈怠。
http://www.jiujiuba.com/story/shownews.asp?infoid=2677

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2009-04-25T07:44:00.000-07:00

another touching story about 亲情, requested by some pineapple:D... a bit long huh, dont know u people can understand or not ..lols

23年前，有个年轻的女子流落到我们村，蓬头垢面，见人就傻笑，且毫不避讳地当众小便。因此，村里的媳妇们常对着那女子吐口水，有的媳妇还上前踹几脚，叫她“滚远些”。可她就是不走，依然傻笑着在村里转悠。
　
那时，我父亲已有35岁。他曾在石料场子干活被机器绞断了左手，又因家穷，一直没娶媳妇。奶奶见那女子还有几份姿色，就动了心思，决定收下她给我父亲做媳妇，等她给我家“续上香火”后，再把她撵走。父亲虽老大不情愿，但看着家里这番光景，咬咬牙还是答应了。结果，父亲一分未花，就当了新郎。
　
娘生下我的时候，奶奶抱着我，瘪着没剩几颗牙的嘴欣喜地说：”这疯婆娘，还给我生了个带把的孙子。”只是，我一生下来，奶奶就把我抱走了，而且从不让娘靠近。
　
娘一直想抱抱我，多次在奶奶面前吃力地喊：“给，给我……”奶奶没理她。我那么小，像个肉嘟嘟，万一娘失手把我掉在地上怎么办？毕竟，娘是个疯子。每当娘有抱我的请求时，奶奶总瞪起眼睛训她：”你别想抱孩子，我不会给你的。要是我发现你偷抱了他，我就打死你。即使不打死，我也要把你撵走。“奶奶说这话时，没有半点儿含糊的意思。娘听懂了，满脸的惶恐，每次只是远远地看着我。尽管娘的奶胀得厉害，可我没能吃到娘的半口奶水，是奶奶一匙一匙把我喂大的。奶奶说娘的奶水里有”神经病“，要是传染给我就麻烦了。
　
那时，我家依然在贫困的泥潭里挣扎。特别是添了娘和我后，家里常常揭不开锅。奶奶决定把娘撵走，因为娘不但在家吃”闲饭“，时不时还惹是生非。一天，奶奶煮了一大锅饭，亲手给娘添了一大碗，说：“媳妇儿，这个家太穷了，婆婆对不起你。你吃完这碗饭，就去找个富点儿的人家过日子，以后也不准来了，啊？”娘刚扒了一大团饭在口里，听了奶奶下的“逐客令：。显得非常吃惊，一团饭就在嘴里凝滞了。娘望着奶奶怀中的我，口齿不清地哀叫：“不，不要……”奶奶猛地沉下脸，拿出威严的家长作风厉声吼到：“你这个疯婆娘，犟什么犟，犟下去没你的好果子吃。你本来就是到处流浪的，我收留了你两年了，你还要怎么样？吃完饭就走，听到没有？”说完奶奶从门后拿出一柄锄，像余太君的龙头杖似的往地上重重一磕，“咚”地发出一声响。娘吓了一大跳，怯怯地看着婆婆，又慢慢低下头去看面前的饭碗，有泪水落在白花花的米饭上。在逼视下，娘突然有个很奇怪的举动，她将碗中的饭分了一大半给另一只空碗，然后可怜巴巴地看着奶奶。
　
奶奶呆了，原来，娘是向奶奶表示，每餐只吃半碗饭，只求别赶她走。心仿佛被人狠狠揪了几把，奶奶也是女人，她的强硬态度也是装出来的。奶奶别过头，生生地将热泪憋了回去，然后重新板起了脸说：“快吃快吃，吃了快走。在我家你会饿死的。”娘似乎绝望了，连那半碗饭也没吃，朗朗跄跄地出了门，却长时间站在门前不走。奶奶硬着心肠说：“你走，你走，不要回头。天底下富裕人家多着呢！”娘反而走拢来，一双手伸向婆婆怀里，原来，娘想抱抱我。
　
奶奶忧郁了一下，还是将襁褓中的我递给了娘。娘第一次将我搂在怀里，咧开嘴笑了，笑得春风满面。奶奶却如临大敌，两手在我身下接着，生怕娘的疯劲一上来，将我像扔垃圾一样丢掉。娘抱我的时间不足三分钟，奶奶便迫不及待地将我夺了过去，然后转身进屋关上了门。
　
当我懵懵懂懂地晓事时，我才发现，除了我，别的小伙伴都有娘。我找父亲要，找奶奶要，他们说，你娘死了。可小伙伴却告诉我：“你娘是疯子，被你奶奶赶走了。”我便找奶奶扯皮，要她还我娘，还骂她是“狼外婆”，甚至将她端给我的饭菜泼了一地。那时我还没有“疯”的概念，只知道非常想念她，她长什么样？还活着吗？没想到，在我六岁那年，离家5年的娘居然回来了。
　
那天，几个小伙伴飞也似地跑来报信：“小树，快去看，你娘回来了，你的疯娘回来了。”我喜得屁颠屁颠的，撒腿就往外跑，父亲奶奶随着我也追了出来。这是我有记忆后第一次看到娘。她还是破衣烂衫，头发上还有些枯黄的碎草末，天知道是在那个草堆里过的夜。娘不敢进家门，却面对着我家，坐在村前稻场的石磙上，手里还拿着个脏兮兮的气球。当我和一群小伙伴站在她面前时，她急切地从我们中间搜寻她的儿子。娘终于盯住我，死死地盯住我，裂着嘴叫我：“小树……球……球”她站起来，不停地扬着手中的气球，讨好地往我怀里塞。我却一个劲儿地往后退。我大失所望，没想到我日思夜想的娘居然是这样一副形象。一个小伙伴在一旁起哄说：“小树，你现在知道疯子是什么样了吧？就是你娘这样的。”
　
我气愤地对小伙伴说：“她是你娘！你娘才是疯子，你娘才是这个样子。”我扭头就跑了。这个疯娘我不要了。奶奶和父亲却把娘领进了门。当年，奶奶撵走娘后，她的良心受到了拷问，随着一天天衰老，她的心再也硬不起来，所以主动留下了娘，而我老大不乐意，因为娘丢了我的面子。
　
我从没给娘好脸色看，从没跟她主动说过话，更没有喊她一声“娘”，我们之间的交流是以我“吼”为主，娘是绝不敢顶嘴的。
　
家里不能白养着娘，奶奶决定训练娘做些杂活。下地劳动时，奶奶就带着娘出去“观摩”，说不听话就要挨打。
　
过了些日子，奶奶以为娘已被自己训练得差不多了，就叫娘单独出去割猪草。没想到，娘只用了半小时就割了两筐“猪草”。奶奶一看，又急又慌，娘割的是人家田里正生浆拔穗的稻谷。奶奶气急败坏的骂她“疯婆娘谷草不分。。。。。。”奶奶正想着如何善后时，稻田的主人找来了，竟说是奶奶故意教唆的。奶奶火冒三丈，当着人家的面拿出根棒一下敲在娘的后腰上，说：“打死你这个疯婆娘，你给老娘滚远些……”
　
娘虽疯，疼还是知道的，她一跳一跳地躲着***棒槌，口里不停地发出“别、别……”的哀号。最后，人家看不过眼，主动说“算了，我们不追究了。以后把她看严点就是……”这场风波平息后，娘歪在地上抽泣着。我鄙夷地对她说：“草和稻子都分不清，你真是个猪。”话音刚落，我的后脑勺挨了一巴掌，是奶奶打的。奶奶瞪着眼骂我：“小兔崽子，你怎么说话的？再这么着，她也是你娘啊！”我不屑地嘴一撇：“我没有这样的傻疯娘！”
　
“嗬，你真是越来越不象话了。看我不打你！”奶奶又举起巴掌，这时只见娘像弹簧一样从地上跳起，横在我和奶奶中间，娘指着自己的头，“打我、打我”地叫着。
　
我懂了，娘是叫奶奶打她，别打我。奶奶举在半空中的手颓然垂下，嘴里喃喃地说道：“这个疯婆娘，心里也知道疼爱自己的孩子啊！”我上学不久，父亲被邻村一位养鱼专业户请去守鱼池，每月能赚50元。娘仍然在***带领下出门干活，主要是打猪草，她没再惹什么大的乱子。
　
记得我读小学三年级饿一个冬日，天空突然下起了雨，奶奶让娘给我送雨伞。娘可能一路摔了好几跤，浑身像个泥猴似的，她站在教室的窗户旁望着我傻笑，口里还叫：“树……伞……”一些同学嘻嘻地笑，我如坐针毡，对娘恨得牙痒痒，恨她不识相，恨她给我丢人，更恨带头起哄的范嘉喜。当他还在夸张地模仿时，我抓起面前的文具合，猛地向他砸过去，却被范嘉喜躲过了，他冲上前来掐住我的脖子，我俩撕打起来。我个子小，根本不是他的对手，被他轻易压在地上。这时，只听教室外传来“嗷”的一声长啸，娘像个大狭似地飞跑进来，一把抓起范嘉喜，拖到了屋外。都说疯子力气大，真是不假。娘双手将欺负我的范嘉喜举向半空，他吓得哭爹喊娘，一双胖乎乎的小腿在空中乱踢蹬。娘毫不理会，居然将他丢到了学校门口的水塘里，然后一脸漠然地走开了。
　
娘为我闯了大祸，她却像没事似的。在我面前，娘又恢复了一副怯怯的神态，讨好地看着我。我明白这就是母爱，即使神志不清，母爱也是清醒的，因为她的儿子遭到了别人的欺负。当时我情不自禁地叫了声：“娘！”这是我会说话以来第一次喊她。娘浑身一震，久久地看着我，然后像个孩子似的羞红了脸，咧了咧嘴，傻傻地笑了。那天，我们母子俩第一次共撑一把伞回家。我把这事跟奶奶说了，奶奶吓得跌倒在椅子上，连忙请人去把爸爸叫了回来。爸爸刚进屋，一群拿着刀棒的壮年男人闯进我家，不分青红皂白，先将锅碗瓢盆砸了个稀巴烂，家里像发生了九级地震。这都是范嘉喜家请来的人，范父恶狠狠地指着爸爸的鼻子说：“我儿子吓出了神经病，现在卫生院躺着。你家要不拿出1000块钱的医药费，我他妈一把火烧了你家的房子。”
　
1000块？爸爸每月才50块钱啊！看着杀气腾腾的范家人，爸爸的眼睛慢慢烧红了，他用非常恐怖的目光盯着娘，一只手飞快地解下腰间的皮带，劈头盖脸地向娘打去。一下又一下，娘像只惶惶偷生的老鼠，又像一只跑进死胡同的猎物，无助地跳着、躲着，她发出的凄厉声以及皮带抽在她身上发出的那种清脆的声响，我一辈子都忘不了。最后还是派出所所长赶来制止了爸爸施暴的手。派出所的调解结果是，双方互有损失，两不亏欠。谁在闹就抓谁！一帮人走后，爸看看满屋狼籍的锅碗碎片，又看看伤痕累累的娘，他突然将娘搂在怀里痛哭起来，说：“疯婆娘，不是我硬要打你，我要不打你，这事下不了地，咱们没钱赔人家啊。这都是家穷惹的祸！”爸又看着我说：“树儿，你一定要好好读书考大学。要不，咱们就这样被人欺负一辈子啊！”我懂事地点点头。
　
2000年夏，我以优异成绩考上了高中。积劳成疾的奶奶不幸去世，家里的日子更难了。恩施洲的民政局将我家列为特困家庭，每月补助40元钱，我所在的高中也适当减免了我的学杂费，我这才得以继续读下去。
　
由于是住读，学习又抓得紧，我很少回家。父亲依旧在为50元打工，为我送菜的担子就责无旁贷地落在娘身上。每次总是隔壁的婶婶帮忙为我抄好咸菜，然后交给娘送来。20公里的羊肠山路亏娘牢牢地记了下来，风雨无阻。也真是奇迹，凡是为儿子做的事，娘一点儿也不疯。除了母爱，我无法解释这种现象在医学上应该怎么破译。
　
2003年4月27日，又是一个星期天，娘来了，不但为我送来了菜，还带来了十几个野鲜桃。我拿起一个，咬了一口，笑着问她：“挺甜的，哪来的？”娘说：“我……我摘的……”没想到娘还会摘野桃，我由衷地表扬她：“娘，您真是越来越能干了。”娘嘿嘿地笑了。
　
娘临走前，我照列叮嘱她注意安全，娘哦哦地应着。总走娘，我又扎进了高考前最后的复习中。第二天，我正在上课，婶婶匆匆地赶来学校，让老师将我喊出教室。婶婶问我娘送菜来没有，我说送了，她昨天就回去了。婶婶说：“没有，她到现在还没回家。”我心一紧，娘该不会走错道吧？可这条路她走了三年，照理不会错啊。婶婶问：“你娘没说什么？”我说没有，她给我带了十几个野鲜桃哩。婶婶两手一拍：“坏了坏了，可能就坏在这野鲜桃上。”婶婶问我请了假，我们沿着山路往回找，回家的路上确有几棵野桃树，桃树上稀稀拉拉地挂着几个桃子，因为长在峭壁上才得以保存下来。我们同时发现一棵桃树有枝丫折断的痕迹，树下是百丈深渊。婶婶看了看我说，“我们到峭壁底下去看看吧！”我说，“婶婶你别吓我……”婶婶不由分说，拉着我就往山谷里走……
　
娘静静地躺在谷底，周边是一些散落的桃子，她手里还紧紧攥着一个，身上的血早就凝固成了沉重的黑色。我悲痛得五脏俱裂，紧紧地抱住娘，说：“娘啊，我的苦命娘啊，儿悔不该说这桃子甜啊，是儿子要了你的命……娘啊，您活着没享一天富啊……”我将头贴在娘冰凉的脸上，哭得漫山遍野的石头都陪着我落泪……
　
2003年8月7日，在娘下葬后的第100天，湖北大学烫金的录取通知书穿过娘所走过的路，穿过那几株野桃树，穿过村前的稻场，径直“飞”进了我的家门。我把这份迟到的书信插在娘冷寂的坟头：“娘，儿出息了，您听到了吗？您可以含笑九泉了！”

http://www.jiujiuba.com/story/shownews.asp?infoid=2583

。。。。。。。。。

2009-04-21T07:21:00.000-07:00

Oh man, watched "Knowing” with my cousin today. what should i say? the movie plot was bad.. but one thing i like is always Nicholas Cage, he's my idol man!
Well, that, maybe its only one thing that could make me feel better?
many things have passed.. 1c, 2c, zone comp... major things happened in my life. Sometimes, im just wondering, how can i make these memories instilled in my heart forever? memories of the joyful times are always flowing out quickly from my brain. I hate the feeling, but what can i do? Take photos? Well it seemed to mean nothing.. The only few photos that i cared, many of them are not to be found. I feel so empty. The only things i remember, are the times i'm proud of myself, the times i feel sad about... Oh gosh, what kind of person i am. living a life full of deceives.
2c seemed to be extinguished just like a candle. when it goes off, everyone just went their own ways. Thinking about class outing? forget about it, lols. who would be free?
Squad outing has been a flame too, everyone is so hyped about it after comp. but as exam prowled its way to us, unknown to its arrival, people just so freaked out.. Guess no one would be going for outing until nat comp is over huh.. lols.
and last point. 我很讨厌被忽略的感觉...

。。。。

2009-04-18T08:59:00.000-07:00

支离破碎... it has proven me wrong... where do i truely belong?

。。。。

2009-04-18T08:56:00.000-07:00

Suddenly missed 2c alot... The usual days we used to have fun as a class...outings that we enjoy the most...haiz...

...

2009-04-16T01:30:00.000-07:00

在一次朋友聚会上，华仔遇见了一个女孩。第一眼，他就被她的美丽的容貌和高贵的气质所征服了。于是，他鼓起勇气对女孩说，交个朋友吧！女孩甜甜的笑了，顺手在一张纸上写了一行字，递给了华仔。是她的地址，华仔接过，顿时，幸福的感觉包围了他。
　　　　　　　
回到家，华仔立刻写了一封热情洋溢的信寄给了女孩。接下来的子里，华仔每天怀着企盼去看信箱。终于，有一天当华仔打开信箱门的时候，一封粉红色的信静静的躺在那。信很薄。华仔小心翼翼的用小刀裁开信封，却失望的发现里面居然空无一物。
　　　　　　　
华仔很诧异，立刻又写了一封信去问女孩，很快的，他又收到了那粉红色的信封，打开一看，仍旧什么都没有。华仔明白了，女孩是在试探他。于是，往后，他还是给女孩去信，女孩也还是给他回一无所有的粉红色的信封。
　　　　　　　
几个礼拜后，华仔接到了一个电话，是女孩托朋友打来约华仔见面的。华仔兴高彩烈的去赴约，一切顺利，他们谈的很投机，发现彼此的兴趣爱好都很相同。兴奋的华仔觉得对这份感情更有信心了。
　　　　　　　
时间一天天的过去了，华仔家里的粉红色信封数数已经有四十五张了，可是每张都还是空的。同时，华仔身边又出现了另一个女孩，她是华仔的中学同学，刚从国外回来，她找到华仔，告诉他，自己喜欢了他很久~~她同样很优秀，可华仔对她却没什么特别的感觉。
　　　　　　　
他继续的写信把每天自己身边发生的事，告诉女孩，包括那个她的出现。女孩也仍旧回给他什么都没有的粉红色信封。而华仔身边的那个她与他走的越来越近，在各方面都无微不止的照顾关心着华仔。华仔已经二十六七了，父母都催着他快点结婚，华仔也很急，他写信去询问女孩的看法，女孩却还是回给他空空的粉红色信封。
　　　　　　　
慢慢的，华仔的心中越来越没有底了，他不知道这份感情最后究竟有没有结果。而粉红色信封也已经累积到了九十八封了，怀着最后一丝希望的华仔又寄出了一封信，他企盼着奇迹会出现。
　　　　　　　
收到信的那一刻，华仔的心里很激动，他知道决定自己命运的时刻到了，怀着复杂的心情，华仔拿起了那封信，他立刻失望的发现，和以往的九十八封信一样，这封信依旧是很簿，很簿，完全没有一点手感的。绝望透了的华仔并没有拆开信，但终于决定与身边的那个她步上红毯的那一端。
　　　　　　　
婚后他们处的很融洽，华仔也在心中慢慢的淡忘了女孩。直到有一天，在街上，两人再一次相遇，擦肩而过的那一刹那，华仔分明看见了女孩眼中有着深深的幽怨。
　　　　　　　
某天，华仔和他的妻子闲聊的时候，他的妻子忽然提到了女孩。一阵沉默之后，他的妻子猜测说，会不会那第九十九封没拆的信中有些什么？于是，信被取了出来，裁开了封口，轻轻的，从缺口处飘出了一张同样是粉红色的纸条，那一刻的华仔如被电击，用颤抖的手拈了起来，上面清秀的笔迹写着这么一行字：
　　　　　　　
“我已准备好嫁衣，等你第一百封信到来的时候，就做你的新娘！”
From http://www.jiujiuba.com/story/shownews.asp?infoid=4500

...

2009-04-15T04:26:00.000-07:00

Damn touching story...
初中，他们同校，她。是个不良少女，他。是个胆小不被注意的平凡小男孩，
　　　
高中。他们同班，她。是与世无争的黑色精灵，沉浸在颓废的文章和高雅艺术之中。独自沦落。。。
　　　
他。脱去幼稚。成为德才兼备的佼佼者。身边的倾慕者越来越多
　　　
高三他们相爱了。他说，是她那双淡紫的眼睛里的神秘吸引了他，她无言。
　　　
她逃课和他去看电影。他被感动了。
　　　
“如果有一天我死了……你会不会嫁给别人？把我忘记？”
　　　
“不会！你死~`我死~！”
　　　
他激动的把她拥在怀里。他太小，不理解这样的诺言。
　　　
而她清楚的知道~这诺言的含义……
　　　
“如果~你没有死~我却成为一个有残缺的人呢？”
　　　
“别胡说，你会有什么样的残缺？”
　　　
“比如……比如……我的眼睛要是瞎了，你会不会不要我？~”
　　　
“不会~我会做你一辈子的眼睛……”
　　　
她的泪打湿了他的肩。她知道这只是冲动时的话，不会成为现实。她依旧被感动了。
　　　
大学，他们同校不同系。
　　　
他很忙。忙的没有时间去陪她。校园里，她像一枝怪异的植物吸引了很多陌生的目光。
　　　
她的心却长在他的身上，流星雨那天。是他第一次骗她。她约他去看流星，他说要查寝。
　　　
她失望的放下了电话，在江边，烟火在空中放亮，她看到了他，和他身边的漂亮女孩……
　　　
她看到了最亮的流星~划过~很美，她的笑颜在流星划过绽放出最美的光彩~她没有和他说话。离开了江边。
　　　
第二天她和他通了电话
　　　
“昨天是我的星座流星雨~”
　　　
“……对不起……我……”他内疚了
　　　
“没关系的……我们下次一起看啊~”
　　　
"三十三年啊~！人生有多少个三十三年啊？……”他好后悔
　　　
“没关系的，别难过，有你，多少个三十三年我都可以等……”
　　　
他无言。她泪流满面。
　　　
一个月过去了。他忙着考试。忽略了她。
　　　
她寝室的伙伴们都在忙。忙着自己的生日。
　　　
这时她才发现，原来她的脑海里只有一个人的生日。他的，他的生日。她用打工赚来的钱为他准备了一份特别的礼物。一个用翡翠做的鱼骨，这是独一无二的，她设计的，她在他的寝室楼下等他~四个小时过去了~教学楼的灯已经熄了。
　　　
雨越下越大。她没有伞。也没有可以避雨的地方，她已经没有了温度。
　　　
他回来了，在那个漂亮女孩的伞下……他喝了好多的酒……看到她了~
　　　
"你怎么来了？……这么晚你还在这干什么？”他没有预想的那么高兴。
　　　
“……生日快乐~~``~……”她把那件翡翠递给他。
　　　
他触到她冰冷的手和温的翡翠。
　　　
“……石头都被我感动了……”看到他的差异她开玩笑的说。
　　　
“你……”
　　　
“……晚安……我回去了！”
　　　
“等一下！……”他脱下衣服要披在她的肩上。
　　　
她拒绝了。他看到她眼中没有怨恨的绝望。她消失在他视线中。他忽然觉得失落。
　　　
一个月，她拒绝一切和他有关的东西。
　　　
当她站在校园歌手选拔赛的唱台上，坐在评委台上的他讶异了。
　　　
她忧郁的眼睛里没有的任何的色彩。
　　　
“今天我站在这里是临时决定的，我在今天以前还没有勇气站在台上，现在我想把愚人码头送给我深爱的人~”。
　　　
当愚人码头结束，她知道他们已经结束了，看到他脖子上的翡翠是她最大的安慰。
　　　
“也许彻底的伤心才会彻底的绝望。我已经再无余力爱你了……在你生日我转身的时候已经泪流满面，彻底绝望了……我们分手吧！……我~……放你走~`”。
　　　
她把麦克给了别人，没有看他一眼离开了他的视线，他拒绝了漂亮女孩。虽然他知道已经没有意义。
　　　
她的腿折了。她看到漂亮女孩眼睛里的幽怨。她不怨她，受伤的日子只有妹妹可以接近她，她拒绝他的所有。甚至吝啬到拒绝和他说话。
　　　
他发现，她的亲人好象只有她的妹妹。
　　　
大学四年结束，他带着对她的愧疚过了四年。
　　　
他留言给她：四年，四年的时间我们已经荒废。你吝啬到不给我一句话。当你走下唱台我发现失去你，我的生命便不会再有任何的色彩，我不求你回到我身边，只求你原谅我。你的腿是我今生最大的痛，虽然它已经痊愈，可在我心里，那是我欠你的……我即将离开，如果你愿意原谅我，就到车站来送我……’。
　　　
火车站里，他等到最后。她没有出现他失望的离开了。在上车的最后他发现了自己脸上的泪，而她在角落里一直注视着他~流泪到火车流出她的视线……
　　　
四年。她没有放过他。可她又何尝放过自己？……
　　　
三年。心刑期满。他回来了。在家里人的安排下与一个拥有明亮眼睛的女孩结了婚。他已经不在年轻。错过的始终是错过了。珍惜眼前人。何况这个拥有阳光。拥有明亮眼睛的女孩要和他走过好长的一段路呢。
　　　
听说她已经硕士毕业，即将离开这个城市，进入外企。
　　　
他的婚礼，他和他的小妻子收到了整整一大筐的漫天星，当他签字的时候，他发现了一行小字：“我把所有的流星和希望留在了相逢的日子，等到的却是白色的婚纱穿在别人的身上……”
　　　
他震惊了。她在等他。他知道了，却是在这样的场合。他们都无法后退。本已淡忘的所有都涌了出来。他已经没有再拥有她的资格。只能完成这个婚礼……
　　　
婚后，他成为一个顾家的好男人。沉浸在婚后的快乐时光。暂时忘记了她的音容笑貌。
　　　
一次意外打碎了他的幸福……他失去了光明……医生说只要找到眼角膜的捐献者他就有复员的机会。他和他的小妻子充满希望的等待。知道一切的希望在时间的消磨中待尽。
　　　
他的小妻子开始厌倦这样的生活，在一次争吵中她大声的喊出：我不要和一个瞎子过一辈子！他心寒了，“我们……离婚！……”他决心已下，痛苦的说。
　　　
他完美的婚姻在他签字的时候划下了句号。他的妻子决然而去。没有回头。
　　　
他沮丧到了极点。甚至没有勇气面对这黑暗的一切。可脑中总回旋着她的话“你死！我死！~”，那是何等的神圣，需要何等的勇气？
　　　
“他……瞎了……”妹妹边削苹果边告诉病床上的她。
　　　
“……我，想把眼睛给他~……”她说
　　　
“不行！……你马上就要动手术了……”
　　　
“我存活的几率是多少？……我想在死前看到他幸福……”
　　　
她没有进入外企，而是游山玩水的过了一年。一年前她的心脏诊断有问题，存活的机会根本不大。手术的几率是7%。也就是说她的生命将走到最后了……如果说她有什么后悔的，那就是那年的火车站，她没有出现，让他失望的离开了……
　　　
他曾经说过，如果她瞎了，他做她一辈子的眼睛……
　　　
“姐！你不会死！不会！”妹妹趴在她的身上泪流满面。
　　　
她拂着妹妹的头，向窗外看去……天原来是那么的蓝……
　　　
医生说有适合的眼角膜给他了。他终于等到了……黑色的日子过去了……
　　　
手术台上，她一便一便的看着他。她知道他快要重见光明了。她让医生为她保守秘密。为了守着那个诺言。那个让她感动的诺言。她付出的何止是青春……
　　　
一个月，他看见了。他又拥有了光明。他寻找过光明的来源。可是没有人告诉他。他最终还是放弃了。
　　　
他进了父亲创办的一家公司。开始新的生活。忘记过去。忘记她和那个和他有过一年婚姻的小妻子。可不知为什么。他的眼睛总是在想她的时候流泪……
　　　
直到她的妹妹来找他。
　　　
“你得去看看我姐姐……她快死了……”
　　　
“……”他沉默“我不能去……我用了好长时间把过去的生活忘记……”
　　　
“我姐姐的手术失败了……她活不了多长时间了……”她眼圈里含着泪。
　　　
“对不起……”他没有见她的勇气。
　　　
“……啪……”他的脸上一片紫红。
　　　
“……放心，她已经看不见了，你没有什么不能面对她的……她昨天的手术失败了…”。
　　　
他明白了大半。她在默默的付出。默默的等待……
　　　
医院里弥漫着消毒水的味道。
　　　
他坐在她身旁。看着她。很虚弱的样子。
　　　
往事历历在目。他们错过了整个恋爱的季节。
　　　
“谁？……”她感觉到了。有人。陌生而又熟悉的气息……她知道她快熬不过去了。
　　　
“……”他心疼、感动、泪水迷蒙了眼睛、亏欠……
　　　
“……是你？……是吗？”她问。
　　　
他没有说话，只是紧紧的握住了她的手。她感觉到了他的温度。
　　　
“记得我们年轻时候的诺言吗？……别难过……”她虚弱的声音扎在他的心上。
　　　
“……记得……”他的声音哽咽了。
　　　
“……你说过，如果我瞎了……你就当我一辈子的眼睛……”她知道她没有多少时间了。
　　　
“对！~我……说过~……”他有一种心痛的感觉。
　　　
“可不可以……帮我一个忙……？我想吃……芒果……你可不可以帮我买回来……？”
　　　
“我……这就去……你等我！~”他起身跑了出去。
　　　
她知道她不会等到他回来了~听着他的脚步声越去越远~她又一次的在心底哭泣……
　　　
也许他们都是在漂泊的人。
　　　
等待了一千年才遇到，为了诺言又分开……
　　　
他拥有了光明。事业。相信他的能力在不久的将来会拥有一个漂亮的妻子。幸福的家……
　　　
她安心的闭上了眼睛……
　　　
机器发出了刺耳的声音……
　　　
他买完芒果着急的跑回医院……
　　　
他见到的是蒙上白布的她。冰冷的她。曾经给他温暖。给他光明的她……
　　　
他的世界崩塌了……
　　　
芒果掉在地上……
　　　
神圣的诺言、可贵的生命、无情的灾难、可悲的恋情……、错过……
　　　
他的影子在医院的长廊里渐渐拉长。渐渐消失……
　　　
他的心却遗失在那青春年华……有她的笑容。有她的泪水……
Take from http://www.jiujiuba.com/story/shownews.asp?infoid=2730

....

2009-04-13T06:11:00.000-07:00

我还能够说些什么, 我还能够做些什么...
Time to blog again.. despite i havent finished my langart journal which is supposed to hand in tomorrow..zzz..no mood to do.. shall talk about the squad outing two days ago..haha. It was a joke, i thought kialuck and lihui should be going.. then both of, one pig one pineapple, told us cannot go=.= in the end, only 8 people go... lol, sian la, failed squad outing.. actually cannot be called squad outing..8/19 people leh.. not even half man...maybe east coast is too far,lol, and we walked very far. Took the right bus but alight at wrong stop.zzz walked damn long, but it was a fun one man, we talked alot.. especially fooled ziqian. I looked at her and said, "look into my eyes, what do you see.". then she thought about it a while and said, "PIG!".. oh god.. whole crowd laughed man.. that was the most wonderful answer i've ever got....oh ya, before we got on the bus. another wonderful joke.. yingcui was late and came at 11 plus.. the reason was because her watch stuck at 9, and the watch was drew on her wrist... oh god.. almost become the ice inside my pepsi cup....continue the journey.. rented bicycle,........ girls ride very slowly..
and we were so sian and decided to encourage them to ride faster, so william decided to have a catching session... holyshit, i got two minor cuts because of that.. and nose bleed, not because of hot girls of course... even if it is, its the hot mother earth..zzz... went to bugis after that, man, it was a long journey, it was raining heavily, and i was without an umbrella, so shiok... shower sia.. had dinner at bugis and accompanied the girls to arcade, then they scared got gangster, so we went to the kiddy one. and i become a father =.=... i really wondering why im i there... and one smart thing i did was not to pay a single cent... zzz bad memories, spent dont know how much money there 5 years ago...lol.. then finally went home... haha, overall quite fun la..heihei... but hope next time can have more people going. Maybe a hike next time? and its time to speak like girls, "i love my squad, love st john(especialy when its not half u session)" :D haiz, dont know cca doing what leh..

.........

2009-04-08T05:46:00.001-07:00

比赛结束了，终于放下心中的一块大石。可是却又添加了一种空虚，莫名其妙的空虚，因为不能和我的伙伴们天天在一起了。
After comp, i really don't know what should i do, i feel so empty, that my fellow squad mates are not beside me everyday. Man, i still remember the fun times we had during training, i really appreciate it, how i hope my squadmates and I can be in one class and study together. It would be really fun, but it's not reality. God, i really hoped that we can have squad outings everyday:D, i'm sure many of my squadmates think like that too, especially william. haha.. he wants to have another squad outing, maybe dont have movie this time, but just walk around, maybe that's what kaiping is hoping for yesterday? lols.. Im thinking of a time to organise this..haha..
Anyway, this is not the only reason for me to stay with squadmates, another reason is that, i have a feel or torment whenever i reach home. The atmosphere is just always not right. My mum is always angry, everyone is angry. and im like nothing, but the venting machine(vent anger)... haiz.. im binded my alot of rules that my mom set.. how i hope things could return to last year, where i had a lot of freedom, when i could do my studies quietly at the library with my friends, and play like crazy at home... how i longed for that again... haiz...
Close up from love, I didn't need the pain. Once a twist was enough...

...........

2009-04-07T04:16:00.000-07:00

Haha, blogging again.. Just had chem today.. oh man, hope i can pass, because obviously i didnt study thoroughly for the test >.<.. C2H4 how to draw?Zzzz...
Anyway, had my First Aid comp prize presentation today, hmm... different feeling from last year's foot drill comp.. maybe its a new class bah, the cheering isnt as loud as last year, lols.. but anyway, no one cares...haha..
After school, cadets in container classroom "falled in" and "marched" to the canteen to meet out fellow comrades for our squad outing, where we found no one, thus we went to third floor. Then we "marched" slowly to the side gate and saw yuting and greet her, lols.. she seemed embarrased.. haha..
Then took 963 to vivo city, and we were discussing about where to eat. well william and felicia suggested "Pineapple house", which linda really believed there is such thing =.=...haha.. of course i didnt believe..:D. then we went to golden village to get our tickets first as we wouldnt want to break our neck. After that was long john silvers, nice but less..haiz.. Then watched confessions of shopaholic. Man it was a nice movie, it let me think about why did i spend so much money.. maybe i should cut down the amount of money i spend.. one thing seems cheap, but many things are expensive...Lol..
End the day with homework as usual, hope can complete homework earlier so can play one round of left 4 dead :D.

。。。。

2009-04-05T02:40:00.000-07:00

Hey, blogging again:D.
COMP is over!!!
CHAMPION!!CHAMPION!!CHAMPION!!CHAMPION!!
CHAMPION!!
CHAMPION!!
CHAMPION!!CHAMPION!!CHAMPION!!CHAMPION!!CHAMPION!!CHAMPION!!CHAMPION!!CHAMPION!!CHAMPION!!CHAMPION!!CHAMPION!!
CHAMPION!!CHAMPION!!CHAMPION!!CHAMPION!!CHAMPION!!CHAMPION!!CHAMPION!!CHAMPION!! wooohoooO!!! damn it, almost got clean sweep anyway.. haiz.. if not for CPR.. but anyway, shall not whine here:D
Wanna thanks my trainers Bingle and Adam for their care and patience(althought we get pumped alot, but its for our own good=。=) haha.. and thanks for the 屁. hand phone cover.
hahaha.. Im so happy, so happppyyyyyyy..... dont know to say what... i really hope i can have to power to share the happiness....

................

2009-04-02T03:39:00.001-07:00

Another boring day has passed, even though we went for learning journey and ponned art lesson, lol...
Comp is coming, really stressed and dont know what to do..haiz. hopefully we can win the champion bah.. lol and im the only one who's crazy and want to watch movie on friday.. -.-..
Just had physics test today, stupid tianhang, show off, say he sure get A1.zzz.. sian,, i think at most i can get is only a B... T。T.
And i only got 16/20 for maths...
But whatever, still A1 :D..

。。。。。。

2009-03-30T02:01:00.000-07:00

In space, Astronaunts cannot cry, because there is no gravity, tears cannot flow down.. I feel like i'm living in space right now.. haiz..
Time to talk about life... Dont know who said that life is like an drawing without eraser. Man, i totally agree. Some thing u have done or said cannot be reversed, the only thing you can do is to blend it, or to admit it...
Sunday, was a happy day. Went to church for worship, oh man, very nice songs. love the songs.:D After that played basketball with the church friends, haha, owned them:D. Then had English lesson at church. Then went home to do homework... God.. it was such a long time, maths is troublesome, so many practice questions =.=... did untl 8, went to macdonalds with my mother and my aunts to have dinner there, and then stayed until 10 to finish my homeworks.
Today, haiz.. lessons bored, except for pe.. 2.4, damn it... i 拼了老命, and ran 11m20s :D, haha improve 42 seconds from the last time, even thought i nvr run for 3 weeks. lol... Stupid yujer ran 9m55s, crazy BAS***D. then lessons again, bored........ and the stupid langart book review, zzz, this book cannot that book cannot, walao, then why ask us to review! -.-.. after tat went to play basketball, damn slippery, haha lucky nvr fall down.
Then had fun watch shaun pissing off the sec two basketball guy..-.-.. shall not do any explain here. later that guy see my blog i scared he die..haha..
After that went to eat lunch at mac( again =.=) with brandon, yujer and yong lun. talk about dota all the time...we like dota :D. Then went home, update blog:D
Oh ya, and i left my wallet in the toilet, damn it, almost lost it.. T.T...
ya, that's all.
Why do anteaters have high resistance from illnesses? because they are full of anty-bodies :D wuahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha

:D

2009-03-28T05:57:00.000-07:00

Hey yo everybody.:D
start of with a joke.
Where do kings keep their armies?
Answer: IN THEIR SLEEVES:D
anyway, yesterday was a long day, had a few tests, then cca, then went back to church for cell group, where we had a lot of fun...:D Parent meeting was like hell, regreted to let my mom go..T.T
Today, went to school in the morning to play basket ball and badminton.. was totally fail. Missed so many shots.. And chiunyuan, will score 3 point everytime we shout the magic word :D.. haha.. i shall not review what is the magic word..lol
After that we went to the headquater of st.john. witnessed zone 4 zone comp.. it was an eye opening..(william and weijie dont laugh) experience. However, their style is totally different from ours. Hope i can do well in my zone comp luh.. heihei, watched half way, felt very bored. so left the hq.
Then my squadmates and me went to bugis and had our lunch, man dont know which pig suggested to go bugis, damn expensive luh! in the end i only 5 dollar for lan :D
yeah as i said, after lunch, we went for lan :D haha, had a round of L4D, was like a joke, 4 person walk across the bridge, 2 person drop down... stupid william and junyuan-.-.. and weijie, startled the witch without us knowing.. and worst of all, im the damn louis again =.= freak !!!.
Then, it was my mom's birthday celebration :D may got bless her a happy birthday:D.. went to japan restaurant to have dinner, nice but expensive, but who cares=.=, its an once a year event,lols.and back now, updating this blog..

。。。。

2009-03-26T05:40:00.001-07:00

Another boring day, haiz...
GPP sucks, groupwork, i hope wenjing and minghao will respond to my calls and turn up for the meetings.. haiz..
had reading and writing assessment, which i, the first time heard mr tan shouted really loud, and he was really mad, lol.. but luckily not our class, although we almost get it..=.=.. then had a 10 minutes lesson with mr tan, until 2.40pm.. and i was late for art.. lucky ms ling let me had my lunch, haiz....haha
Art is seriously stressful... haiz.. but i have to endure through it..
tmr is cca, hope we wont be wearing half uniform, it sucks...=.=
Joke for the day, from fun.varadinum.com.
What do you do with a dog that has no legs?
Take him out for a drag.:D

...

2009-03-25T04:10:00.001-07:00

天空中的雨滴，是我心中的泪水...是别人看得见，却不懂得的一种难过...

....

2009-03-25T03:59:00.000-07:00

Life after UG camp..
Monday, DOTA TIME, had a few rounds of dota with richy, tianhang, and bihao, which we almost totally owned... except for tianhang's dk=.=..nothing to say..
Tuesday, training as usually, had dinner with squadmates and queenstown.
Wednesday, training again=.=.. William got fever -.-.... I left early to attend a chalet held by Gnext of my church... fun.. and nice and comfortable bed to sleep on.. had a good night, although dinner was....... nvm, i shall not say anything..
Thursday, Training of course, but had fun playing badminton:D. Although we were very sian, because william wasn't here..
Friday, went to jurong west library to borrow books. and damn it all those i want to borrow, are already loaned.. freak.. T.T.. junyuan was late.
met at jurong point with ziqian, kialuck, cindy blah blah.. cant really remember... to have lunch at kfc, which we stay until 2. watched the movie mall cop, whith 12/19 of my squad, lols.. nice movie, had a great time.. and ziqian and kialuck said that i laughed too loudly.. which they both did two.. and please, stop punching me when im laughing =.=...
had cell group with church mates, studies the words of god:D.
Saturday, homework session, basically wasted half a day staring at my work instead of doing it.
Sunday, mornign worship to god:D, nice songs haha.. had a piano lesson with zeyun sei sei :D, finally know how to play 说好的幸福呢 chorus part le..yay. went back home, continue with homework, and by god's blessing, i've completed all except for art... Its complicated..haiz..
Life after holiday is miserable, i felt like sleeping everyday.. monday had freesbie! i got champion, but my trophie was to keep the cones T.T.. wth..
Tuesday had cca, training, dull, everyone no mood, made me no mood also...=.=
Today... haiz, was thinking of playing basketball after pt during pe.. but, pe was to watch freesbie matches.. wooohooo, diving!! "don't try to dive on our school's field, one time and that's it..", by ms joanne loo..lol..
Jiawei's random comment," ms loo so handsome.." =.= god...
Esther, who was holding the trash bin, looked at me and i looked back at her, and i almost wanted to say, " Hi, rubbish girl :D."
but i hold on to my temptation, because i dont wanna get bruise on my leg..=.=.. she's got power kicks..diao.
And right now, doing art homework.. really stuck, if not i wont update the blog, duh..=.=

......

2009-03-25T03:51:00.001-07:00

Time is a medicine that heals, time is also a key to unlock things. And time has unlocked this blog to publics :D.
Firstly, let's talk about life in UG camp... Basically the whole thing was still fun:D, i dont have too much comments about that, because i'm an easy going guy:D
We had a night trail during the first night, I was basically cover with 鸡皮疙瘩 ... yucks, and i have to sweep them of from my body... It was scary, to the girls. Of course, i was more brave :D wuahahahahaha...
On the second day, we had a combined UG amazing race, we went through various games, which we slacked.. However, we still got first.. =.= what a coincidence, just because im there(joke), haha.. but wth? no time to enjoy our prizes, which was a bottle of 100 plus and a packet of potato chips... such temptation, especially during UG camp..haiz.. After that, we went for hiking:D, to mount faber, seriously, it was fun, but hot. But luckily we didnt went to hort part, because its more "ho(Really)t" there.. dman it. The trip was like a chatting session with platoon mates, and they let us sing songs, with our pathetic throats after shouting cheers and "yes! Sergeant!" half of the day..=.=..how to sing..diao. We had lunch there, tasty breads :D. Then we came back... After that we had candle night which we screwed our performances=.= lol...
The third day was an easy one, packed up our things, cleaned our bunks and there we go.. ohya, and the captain ball match was totally owning :D..too bad

。。。

2009-02-12T02:53:00.000-08:00

那眼泪，眼泪总是我的体会，争吵的滋味。那眼泪，忍住眼泪不让你看见，我在流泪。孤单的子感觉，你都不曾发现，我笑中还有泪。
离开你是傻是对是错，是看破是软弱。这结果，是爱是恨，或者是什麽。最爱你的人是我，你怎麽舍得我难过。对你付出了这麽多你却没有感动过。我怀念的是无话不说，我怀念的是一起作梦，我怀念的是争吵以后还是想要爱你的冲动。我记得那年生日，也记得那一首歌，记得那片星空，最紧的右手，最暖的胸口，我多麽痛的领悟，你曾是我的全部，只愿你挣脱情的枷锁，爱的束缚任意追逐，别再为爱受苦。

.....

2009-02-09T06:36:00.000-08:00

没有人了解我，我又能和谁诉苦？

。。。。。。。。。。

2009-02-09T03:35:00.000-08:00

Im tired, Im seriously tired... Not physically but mentally, it seems like those unhappy things are oozing up from the thick layer of things I piled on them. For the last few months, i've been engaging with lots of things like CIP, just to cover whatever things i dont wanna think, but now its all back again!.. Can't take it, and the members of CID group are giving me troubles, full of troubles. Im tired...
Nevertheless, Valentines day is coming, hoping everyone a veeeery happy valentines day, i might not blog something sad like last year, lols. I think no one will appreciate because everyone like happy things not like me. he, im a wierdo. and though im still single, i will find things to do to cover my loneliness.. lols, and for those who are single too, dont be too sad, hope your dreamed ones will come to you soon..!~ And for those who are in love, dont remember to say " come sei bella" to your dear loves! and maybe a sarangheiyou! lols..

.....

2009-02-07T05:43:00.000-08:00

当我再看着她的时候，不知多少人也在看着她。当她看过来的时候，不知知否是在看我...

。。。。。。。。。。

2009-02-07T02:29:00.000-08:00

为什么不想留下的记忆紧追不舍，想留下的会念匆匆离去。今年是一个新的开始，但却是痛苦的过去。如今的我乱了，不知该怎么办。想要的却找不回来，一切已经太晚了... But who knows...

Maestoso Corda

2009-02-06T06:37:00.000-08:00

At 7.30pm today, the first concert of RVSE began. Sitting at the audience sit, I felt very nervous, frankly say, its the first musical concert I've ever attended. Haha, it's a stupid reason. The concert was very nice, i dont know how to discribe it, should I use beautiful? Lols. I trully enjoyed myself. Especially at the Palladio, it was so nice. Zeming and Wangjia's show was also nice, when they were playing, i could feel the atmosphere of the whole LT1 froze, it seemed that everyone had stopped breathing.
Haha, but me, it feels the same way throughout the concert, because my eyes kept looking at one place. When the concert is over, and did what I have to do. I walked out of the gate, and took bus home. When my friends left, I had a sudden feel of sorrow, it felt like my heart is being compressed, memories that sank to the bottom of my heart float up. And for once, I did not lower my volume when I walk pass people while I was singing. It's so good to walk alone at night, singing my favourite song and wishing there is somebody by my side to enjoy it, I could let all my feelings out, I could let the sorrow go...

真希望上天能将那一刻永远停留住，让今日的记忆结成结晶，永不忘记。

Ps: Richmond's photography skills sucked...lol!:D

武侠小说

2009-01-30T06:53:00.000-08:00

在这个繁忙的社会里，大家有没有想过，如果自己生活在武侠小说里会是什么样的感觉？
想象自己是个大侠，背后背着一把天剑，手中拿这一个萧，坐在高高的山顶，独自作乐。不时游走天涯，路见不平拔刀相助。不时与人切磋剑艺，喝酒畅谈。不时与佳人弹琴赏月，谈书论画，浪漫无比。逍遥自在，做自己想做的事，走自己想走的路。
遇到想追求的人时，就写一首情诗：
关关雎鸠，在河之洲。窈窕淑女，君子好逑。
参差荇菜，左右流之。窈窕淑女，寤寐求之。
求之不得，寤寐思服。悠哉悠哉，辗转反侧。
参差荇菜，左右采之。窈窕淑女，琴瑟友之。
参差荇菜，左右毛之。窈窕淑女，钟鼓乐之。
再想象一位美丽的女侠与你一起游走天涯海角，闯荡世界。早晨醒来，走到竹林中独自练剑，练完剑后，有人给你送来一杯热茶，帮你解渴。遇到困难时能够共患难。
那该多好啊，不像现在的社会，什么都讲money。讲到money,就到了study. 整天study好累啊，真的希望这世界还有象古代那种美丽的风景。坐在高山上遥望这世界，享受这唯美的音乐，陶醉其中。。。